


Nightmare

by wingedthing



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blood, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 19:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5714548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingedthing/pseuds/wingedthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This choice was supposed to lead him to his destiny; instead, he finds himself more lost than he was before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately following his duel with Rey, Kylo Ren finds himself lost, broken, and calling out to anyone he can for help, and for answers.

It’s the nightmare he’s had since he was younger than he can remember.

His father’s eyes are wide. His face is tight with agony. Fire erupts from his body, in front and behind. He touches Ben’s (not Ben, _NOT BEN_ ) face and falls into nothingness. And then the unctuous words in his mind: “You have fulfilled your destiny.”

His destiny? He’s lying in the snow of a dying world, bleeding out. _He_ is dying, and nobody is around to see or care. His worst nightmare has become a reality, and all he has to show for it is a gash carved in his face a bolt in his side. He doesn’t want this; he doesn’t want any of this.

He calls out for help. “Grandfather—!” he manages, but of course, nothing happens. What does he expect will happen? His grandfather is dead, dead more than thirty years, has been silent all his life. Why would that change now?

But still, “Grandfather, please…” he tries again, and still nothing. A more childlike instinct, almost like a memory, takes over, and though he murmurs, “Uncle,” once, he has nothing more to say to that man, that man whom he blames for most of this mess.

Who will save him? Who always saved him? “Mother.” He can barely breathe now; the world is exploding before him and growing dark all at once. “Mother… mama… please…”

She won’t come, not after what he’s done. The wound in his side shoots him through with new pain, and he curls in on himself. Agony without and within; what has he done? This was supposed to make things, right not make them worse, but he finds that all he wants now is the one thing he can never have again.

“Han Solo,” he says, the way he’s spoken his father’s name for fifteen years. The salt of his tears stings the wound on his face. “Ha—Father. Father, please… Father…” And he sobs like the child he once was, the little boy who ran into Han Solo’s arms for comfort, who rode on his lap as he pretended to pilot the _Millennium Falcon_ , who inherited his father’s laugh and sense of humor, whose first word was

“Daddy…” He repeats it over and over again, like a prayer, like an apology, until he can’t breathe anymore. He begs that the past stay the same but change all at once. Kylo Ren doesn’t know what he wants; Ben Solo wants to hug his father one last time.

He’s still begging when scarlet lights fill his vision and Hux stands above him, lip curled in horror and disgust. “Come along, Ren,” the general says, lifting his arm across his shoulders and carrying him to their ship.

He thinks it’s important to make the general understand, for some reason, as he’s laid down in the medical bay. “I killed my—I killed…”

“I am aware,” the general answers. The ship is lifting off, leaving the world and what happened on it behind. “Snoke has spoken to me; he says it is time to complete your training.”

Ben Solo lets out a sob and allows the world to go dark around him; Kylo Ren smiles at the news. The worst of his nightmares has come true, and yet, it is still just beginning.


End file.
